Incy Wincy Spider and the case of the can of hairspray

So, I’ve been having spider nightmares again recently – being covered in themactually touching me gaaahh…. I usually get them (or the little dead girl running around one) when something is bothering me. I’m just not sure what.  But something is nagging in there somewhere.

So anyway, the spiders. Since the midgets turned up I’ve been trying to curb the hysterical riverdancing across the room when one even looks at me. I’ve quit spraying the big hairy brutes with hairspray to make them stay bloody still. I’m better now. Well, when I say better I can look at one of the hobnail booted bloody huge house spiders inside a glass that someone else has put over it without breaking into a cold sweat.  Since they were big enough to understand I’ve done the pale sweaty bit on the inside while cooing at them going ‘ooh look girls, I’ve found Mr Skinnylegs!’ – this is one of the things I’m rather proud of as they’re not scared of spiders. But rationlly thinking about it, is there a bloody good reason that they make me feel like squishing them with big books.

Ok, if you’re squeamish, look away now….

This is a huntsman spider – a general housespider in Australia (one place that would so be on my list to visit if it wasn’t for these not so little guys). They’re actually harmless, unless you’re an insect but serviously, is there a need to be this huge?

 

Exhibit two: The notorious Black Widow Spider – it’s more infamous than it actually needs to be. It does bite. It is venomous and if you’re a fly you’re in deep deep poo. However, the majority of fatalities that occur because of the bites happen in the elderly, young children or people with current health issues. Statistically, you’re more likely to die from the flu. Icky research here

Exhibit Three: These guys are currently doing their best to dangle at me at every opportunity in the garden. Again, totally harmless, unless you’re a small winged creature who buzzes. I know for a fact they’re harmless but they run about with their horrible sticky, tickley legs and ew ew ew! Stop. And focus…. These guys remind me specifically of the sadistic ex who used to throw them at me to see if I’d scream – invariabley I would. Or at the very least would feel cold and itchy for hours after. With hindsight, that was incredibley childish of him. Funny how things later seem a bit pathetic actually.

Final exhibit of the evening ladies and gentlemen, exhibit four. The housespider. These dudes hide in my washing only to wader out onto my shoulder (which is where the screaming riverdance came from), or run across the living room floor at me, or climb up the wall only to be seen out of the corner of my eye. The mere sight of these things makes me feel unwell and generally after a nice summer (which this year was really), they’ve spent months growing huge and throughout the autumn make it their life’s work to test my courage in front of the kids to the absolute limit. Every time we catch one and stick it outside, I’m convinced they’re off to tell their bigger and much hairer brother that we were mean.

So, you may ask me, why the hell if you are so adverse to these hairy little beats are you writing a full on blog inclusive of pictures? Well, dear reader is it because this post has actually served to confirm that my fear is indeed irrational. In fact, despite my intense dislike of Mr Skinnylegs, it is proven that actually allowing him to wander about the dark recesses of my home actually keeps out the poisonous varieties such as the hobo spider, which is banished to the outside world for fear of the more giant, but less bitey variety. Research here.

So in conclusion for tonight – I shall continue on my journey of banishing the Miss Muffet Syndrome.

While I’m here – a little of the usual stuff. We did our second AI today – I’m not going to ride the babywave this month. TBH, apart from temping and the occasional mention on here I’m going to let the next two weeks pass without obsession. If AF takes a hike, then I’ll test, not before – frankly, unless I’m late I don’t want to know this time. That way if there’s another chemical I don’t have to deal with knowing we lost another one. That post is yet to come – I’ll do the open stuff about how the chemicals have been dealt with at a later point when I can articulate it properly.

So… my happy thoughts for the day (#3 of 29…)

• Due to electrical substations that went bang Mr T and I got to spend the day together
• Yummy chinese food for dinner – I couldn’t be a vegan, I just don’t have the willpower
• Midget got the thumbs up from her teacher today – she can be taught!
• Spending the afternoon over at Mr T’s parents – they’re back from holiday and had some hilarious stories. Was good to see them again