I am a bloody idiot. I deluded myself into the idea that I was beeing ultra cool about everything this cycle – stop temping, if it doesn’t work it doesn’t work, I’ll wait to see if AF arrives…. utter tosh. What did I do? I allowed my smind to wander for five minutes and without thought for my calm state of being went and peed on a stick. Of course this provided no actual result for several reasons. It probably has no reason to shine a line at me, secondly I got the LH surge last monday – that’s got to be less than 7dpo (which frankly wouldn’t produce a result for the most hormonally overactive people anyway). So in conclusion I have made myself feel all glum and eubbish for the singular reason that I am a tit.
Right, rant over. Actually today was a weird day all round. Midget refused to sleep last night until nearly 10pm – unheard of, but she managed it. So this morning you can imagine how much enthusiasm she had for going to school. To add insult to injury, mini midget had a weird night too – she was up at 2am (ish) and came downstairs having had a nightmare. So she got into bed with us and spent the next 2 hours bouncing on my head, kicking my kidneys and generally being three – some point around 5am she got up with my mum (they’re all insomniacs here!) who watched spongebob with her til they both fell asleep on the sofa until 8 by which point we were running late for school (joy).
And yet, after this the day was quite good – mini midget and I went swimming. She’s learnt to dive into the pool which is ultra cute. We went to have lunch with Mr T in our favorite place, and while this did not help the diet, it was yummy. And I was once again duly a domestic goddess with the creation of mountains of broccolli and carrot/potato mash for the kids’ dinner (which they hoovered up!). So there’s my happiness bit for the day!
It’s been a good day in a weird way. I’m irritated that I had to spoil it.
One last thing though – it’s just me being a mum and worrying. This is the second full week at school for midget. She’s changed a lot over the past couple of weeks and not all of it is good. Ok, I was expecting her to do the I’m a grown up thing (I was warned about that), but my little outgoing performer has turned into a shrinking violet. I asked her teacher about it last week and she said that midget hadn’t really found a special friend yet but was social with everyone. Except I’ve watched her around the other children (ok, only in the mornings and when I collect her) and her old walk straight up to someone and say hi approach has vanished, she’s either going off on her own or sort of standing by them and looking hopeful, or more worryingly standing behind them – it’s that eye contact thing again… My thoughts here are either a) perhaps there’s something wrong that I’ve picked up on and she really is having a difficult time fitting in which means I need to take some form of action because I’m her mum! or b) I’m projecting my own insecurities about meeting new people onto her and I’m just scared of her beoming ‘the weird kid’ because that is how I used to percieve myself. *considers at this point that I’ve either not had enough or have had too much therapy!* in which case I should back off and stop putting my insecurities into her situation. There is also option c) where it may just be a little bit of both and I’m being hyper sensitive because my parents either didn’t notice, or played down the difficulties I had fitting in during school.
So I open it to the audience – what would you do?
Okay, the last paragraph of this post had me a little choked up. I am incredibly anxious for my own daughter when she gets enters the realm of kindergarten or pre-school or whatever. I do attribute this to a projection of my own insecurities, but I totally empathize with your concern.
Kids are resilient–parents, not so much. Perhaps keeping the conversation about school as open as possible? Maybe Midget will express a concern on her own? Or, give it some time. I remember switching friends almost daily when I was young.
And what do I know…my daughter’s only two.
Thank you! I have been informed by Mr T that she ran in holding hands with another girl this morning and has reserved her shy side for me. It’s early days and I’m sure she’ll love it eventually. I guess it’s a parent’s perogative to fret.
Something that helped my (big) little one fit in at school (she’s in her second year this year – where does that time go??) was inviting other kids over to play. Let her choose, and see if you can approach the parents at pick up/drop off. If she is fitting in anyway, this won’t hurt, but if she is finding it a bit tricky, it may help. Encourage her to choose lots, because allegiances change a lot at this stage, so lots of different plays will help her find god matches. Plus some parents will never get back to you, or say “yes, great idea!” but always be too busy. I will stop before I start ranting.
Isn’t it weird the way they save their most anxiety-producing behaviour for us? Is it that we have anxious eyes, do you think?
In our nearly two years of school-parent experience (old hands, us!), the one thing I have learnt is that the ups and downs are huge. And our parental reactions to them are even bigger.
From another weird kid…