Is There an App For This? Hmm Mr Jobs? No, I didn’t think so.

Today has been a bit trying all round. I didn’t mean it to be. I had a plan. I was going to call the doctor for two things – first with ttc out of the window, I have made the decision to give the happy pills a try, just to bring the pitch of the screaming in my head down a bit, and secondly because the results of the dreaded smear last year are obvious by their absence.

Now of course with both things on my mind, I then stayed awake half the night in a semi conscious state half dreaming about how to explain my decision to the dr and also with visions of them having missed something awful and not sent the results (giving me a plausible reason why the ttc didn’t work). So when I did manage to wake up, which has just been a chore lately, I called the dr – got an appt which I instantly realised I couldn’t possibley make unless mr T took time off work. We weren’t in the right frame of mind to negotiate this, with one midget high as a kite in joy overload at not being at school and the other having  woken up in a ‘mummy mood’ and was screaming blue murder over evrything from the wriong cup to being made to put her own knickers on. In fact I ended up with my knees curled up on the bed with my hands over my ears and shouting at everyone to just shut up. I had a plan, and it was not working. Everything was out of control. I called the doctor back (no easy job) and asked fr a later appointment only to be told that the last appointment had just gone, oh how funny, except the receptionist ended up with me crying on the phone and giving in saying I’d try to make the appointment. As it was, it didn’t happen – the girls come first and I’d promised them some time this morning, so out we went and me dealing with my head now waits until tomorrow. The plan is to call as soon as they open again. You never know. I don’t know what to say to them, I’m afraid they won’t take me seriously.