Oh god it’s only Wednesday. There’s another 4 days of this enforced household encarceration left…. Don’t even mention the summer holidays unless you’re handing me a bottle of vodka! Let’s discuss today as an example of the joys of a parent at half term…
Day 6 in the half term house: The inmates are getting twitchy. Mr t has locked himself in his room while be attends a training course online. Aware that she must round up the savages alone, H suggests a trip to the swimming pool knowing that midget could attend a fun splash session with other half term savages. So the bag was packed and the swimming costumes were on…. and the midgets ran into the garden to collect snails as their new pets. They’re called Rosie and Jack and they’re now living in a shoebox in a pile of grass and leaves in the midgets’ shed. Eventually they conceded that swimming sounded like a good plan and the car was finally seen leaving the half term house at 10am (meant to be 9.15am).
H and the midgets arrived at the unnamed sports facility with H already feeling a bit ropey, now knowing she was about to tackle two distracted small people in a swimming pool with no splash class backup…. Midget realises splash class is nearly over and cops a strop (H biting her lip while screaming mentally I told you that!!!) Micro midget just wants to get in the water…
The housemates are in the water. It’s great – the kids are like fish splashing and jumping about, diving under the water. Ok, there were a couple of moments of fear (like when they both jumped into the big pool together…. panicking over which to catch first, then realising it was fine as mini midget swam off on her own?!??!). But all is quiet in the half term house.
Lunch over, the housemates head back to the half term house to discover that G has been attacking the front garden in preparation for the builders arriving this week – the tree has gone and he’s about to start on the hedges. The house is changing daily in front of our eyes. It’s all exciting, frightening and a bit sad at the same time (only sad because the house I knew as a child is dissapearing).
Afternoon in the half term house. Mr T continues his virtual classroom work while G continues to remove a rainforest of hedge (if he’d started to sing I’m a Lumberjack, I wouldn’t have been shocked…. although that’s more my style). H and the midgets start on a massive car cleaning excercise: the hoover is out, the midgets stand sponges at the ready with instructions to clean the inside of the doors while H removed all the seats and hoovers every square inch of carpet and upholstery imaginable. Every item is removed from the car and either thrown away, cleaned and replaced or filed in the house. The midgets get bored and decide to set up house in the boot of the car. They even find a ‘secret door’ (the middle seat that lowers as a table). The the cat decides to join them. Somehow it takes the housemates three full hours to get the car clean – something to do with evicting toys, animals and small humans from anywhere H is trying to clean. Her parting words of this section: “You are never eating smarties in the car again!!!”.
The shortest people in the half term house are tired after their challenges. It’s not quite time for bed. Midget appears to deal with requests by sulking and being generally stroppy, while mini midget suddenly develops an ability to tantrum. Properly tantrum. Not just a few screams but actual throw yourself on the floor, flail, scream, kick and yell. Wow. (If it wasn’t hurting my ears I’d almost be impressed) The housemates have decided to treat this behaviour with a lack of response – just ignore her. They hope it’s going to work soon. Terrible fours? Really??!
All was quiet in the half term house. H found a nut and the nut suggested going to the gym (to which H agreed).
AH the JOYS of holidays, who on earth called them holidays? they are certainly FAR FROM a holiday to the parents who have to deal with the kids, I usually go back to work for a rest.
These days of course I don’t get the whole school holidays off so have to go into the office for a few hours each morning (well all morning but I come home at lunch time) not that I object gives me a break from the bedlum that’s called life with 2 kids.
If its any consolation, the ignoring of tantrums DOES work, but it sometimes takes quite a while, they do eventually stop throwing tantrums when they realise that they don’t get attention for it, we have seen this with 2 kids, and both of them used to throw spectacular tantrums, now, well they just don’t bother coz they know its not worth it, although that said they have found other ways of winding us up and causing bedlum.